Sunday, April 23, 2006

Recap April 22, 2006

WEATHER: For the 7th consecutive Saturday, rain was forecast. For the 7th consecutive Saturday, it was dry in Venice. Peter woke up in cloudy, drizzly Burback, ignored sunscreen and wound up a nice shade of pink.

SCHEDULE: We have three weeks left this season – April 29, May 6 and May 20. We are off May 13 (field not available).

GAME: Hard to tell who won since people kept coming and going (insert double entendre here). So we'll call it a victory for all!

MVP: Gotta give it to Dan this week. He gets traded from Dark (0 passes thrown his way) to White and promptly scores on his first play, He scored twice more, threw a TD pass (to me, of all people. You should have seen my spike!) and snagged an interception. Payback's a bitch.

EDWARD SCISSORSHANDS: This applies to a lot of us today. We dropped the ball more than Donald Rumsfeld planning Iraq. Doink! One sequence summed it up: Dan went into QB. His first pass hit me in the hands in the end zone. Drop. His second hit Jeremiah in the hands in stride. Drop. His third hit Toby in the hands in the end zone. Drop. Toby smartly blamed me, saying my moving to WR disrupted the receivers' mojo.

MARATHON MAN: Toby's training for the San Diego Marathon, so he ran 18 miles before playing. "My legs are gone," he said at the end.

MEDICAL REPORT: Patrick wound up with terrible blisters after the game and everyone gave him their favorite remedy. Brent suggested slathering his feet with Vasaline before playing, prompting Patrick to say: "OK, Brent, I want you to rub Vasaline on my feet the next time before we play." Brent's eyes lit up.

BLOCK OF THE DAY: Marino hit Patrick with a short slant pass and he began motoring. Over from one side came Peter, from the other JJJ. The two met and JJJ knew what a 7.9 earthquake feels like. "Illegal pick!" he screamed, until he realized he had been drilled by his own teammate.

BALL HAWKS: Some nice picks today. Marino got one on a nice read on the ball; Dan had his as mentioned; Mike made a nifty grab of one as linebacker and Toby wrestled the ball away from Brent on another.

MAKE SOME NOISE: It is funny to hear the sound Brent makes when he drops a pass; JJJ says it's his "Southern Belle" coming out but it's more like it's the air being expelled from his lungs since he tends to catch the pass with his chest. So, after being needled by JJJ, Brent enjoyed going over to him after he dropped a couple and needling him back. Snap!

GO DEEP: Best long pass was the Jim to Mike connection on one of the first series. A nice route, good throw and catch and the score.

NOTABLE: Peter had two nice TDs, including one on a deep slant made a possible by a nifty play fake by Marino. … John made a superb grab in the deep right corner of the end zone, getting body position, going up for the ball and setting his feet in bounds. … Some of the Dark defense was curious, especially the "no-rush" version. I'll take 8 seconds to throw any day. … Lamest block was by me on Mike's interception. It was my Southern Belle moment. … Toby made a nice move on a fake corner then slant for a TD. ... John said JJJ looked like Donna Summer in juking and jiving after one catch.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Recap April 8, 2006

WEATHER: Couldn't have been better. Sunny, clear, slight breeze, near 70. Ideal football weather. A great turnout that saw us play nearly three hours.

GAME: Back and forth early, Dark took control and went up 30-20. Then White's defensive coordinator, JP, left and Dark was held scorless the rest of the way as Jim took over. White scored six consecutive TDs and won 62-30.

I happily called JP with this news and, being the talented lawyer he is, put forth a good rebuttal. He pointed out that Zach also had to leave, which took away Dark's fastest player. A fair point. But the jury bought my argument for why White excelled in JP's absence. It's the novel ABS legal theory – Addition By Subtraction.

PLAYERS OF THE GAME, OFFENSE: Rory was excellent, scoring three touchdowns and catching virtually everything thrown his way. His best was a superb effort on a deep pass that he caught in stride over a defender, then kept his feet and eluded two tacklers in the end zone. … I'm giving myself the second nod. White scored on 10 of 11 drives and had no turnovers. Plus, I had to deal with both JP AND Anthony on my team, TO Squared.

DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE GAME: Brent gets the nod with his five sacks. Sure, he did get called for bull rushing once and tomahawk-chopped Anthony's arm when he Qbed, but he did a terrific job overall.

WARDROBE MALFUNCTION: Anthony had another pair of shorts ripped, this time by Zach who grabbed for his flag and came up with a piece of cloth instead. We had to delay the game a bit as Anthony, as one player said, "was changing his skirt."

TIP DRILL: Nice job on the game's only interception as Anthony deflected the pass into the waiting arms of Rory.

QB RATING TIME: Mike played a bit of QB for White and completed 2 of 3 passes for 70 yards, 1 TD and 0 interceptions. That translates to a 149 rating (perfect is 158.3 but I made sure he wouldn't obtain that by dropping the only pass thrown to me!).

WIDE OPEN BUT: We had several busted plays where receivers got wide open … and promptly dropped the pass. But Dark did score on one such play on a nice pass from Marino to Dan ("Marino Dan." Like that!).

DULY NOTED: A few plays that didn't count but are still worth mentioning. Zach made a great leaping grab along the back of the end zone but came out of bounds by a foot. … Cody made a great grab in the corner of the end zone, with one foot in and one touching the cone. Dark ruled the cone was the first foot, so denied Cody the catch. … Bubba had his first interception in ages taken away on a legit defensive holding call on the other side of the field.

OUCH: I've learned to not do a hard leg workout on Thursday, play nearly three hours of football on Saturday, then get in my car and spend 45 minutes in traffic. I finally got out of my car at the speed of a 175-year-old tortoise that has just taken Ambien.

BEST EXCUSE FOR MISSING LAST WEEK: Rory – "I was in London."

WORST EXCUSE FOR MISSING LAST WEEK: JB and Mike: "We looked out and thought it was raining." Said of a day where we needed sunscreen.

GOOD LINES: "Brent carries the ball like he's carrying a preemie." Anyone who has seen Brent run with the ball knows what it means. … "Wadda mean good defense? The ball hit me in the hands and I dropped it." – JB about Mike.

CALL A SURVEYOR: We kept having disagreements on ball spots, some of which were quite humorous. My favorite was when one Dark receiver caught the ball and fell backwards … and the ball was promptly spotted 5 yards forward by his teammates; I think you can only defy the laws of physics on "The Matrix."

HIGHLIGHTS: Marino was on all day, with many nice tosses and play calls. His favorite was a nice hard slant to JB that hit him in stride for a big gain. … Zach made a nice move in getting a step on Rory and beating him to the ball for a score. … The longest shovel pass of the day went to Peter, who rumbled about 30 yards before finally being caught. …

Kudos to David, who always stays home on defense, is an excellent flag-grabber and reliable receiver. … Two great routes by Patrick for scores – one on a slant, then pivot to the corner; the other on a great stop and go that froze the defender. … Dan had a solid game at receiver, including one nice long pass for a score. … Easiest score of the day was on a post to Anthony. White stacked the right side and Dark left Anthony in single coverage and left the inside wide open. … Anthony joined Rory with 3 TDs on the day. … Nifty move and catch for a score by JP, who managed to keep his feet in bounds while falling. … Nice MLB by Bubba, who twice knocked passes away on fourth down.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Recap April 1, 2006

WEATHER: For the fifth week in a row rain was forecast, and for the fifth week in a row it was bright, sunny and beautiful. Matthew was so convinced it would be cloudy that he didn't bring sunblock. I learned my lesson and applied it before leaving the house.

GAME: White led from the start and won by about 2 TDs, the key (as at any level of football) being turnovers.

MVP: Has to go to Eric, with four (yes, four) interceptions, including one he took 3 yards deep in the end zone and ran back. He also had two offensive TDs, and was so excited by his MVP win that he tried to leave with his flags still on.

CATCHES OF THE DAY: Three tie for the honor. First up was David's great concentration and catch near the sideline on the 2-point conversion. He caught it at the 1 and had the presence to reach across for the score.

Second goes to Jeremiah (JJJ), for his wonderful leaping grab along the back of the end zone. Like Montana to Clark.

Third was Patrick catch along the sideline, where he did what is becoming routine – going up high, getting body position and catching the ball while falling on his back. These catches for him seem to happen at least once a game.

OVER THE TOP: A nice passer-receiver combo was Puff Daddy to Matthew. PD made several nice deep passes and Matthew made some marvelous catches. We won't say (cough … JP) who was guarding Matthew on those plays.

BEST COMMENT: On one play, Eric caught a pass and was streaking down the sidelines when he was tackled by Patrick (not just flag-grabbed, but tackled). "Hell, I'll take the 15-yard penalty," Patrick said.

BEST BARRY SANDERS IMITATION: Cory caught a pass across the middle and weaved right, then left, then right, then left again for a score.

BOO: To the 5 people who told me they would show up, and stayed away. Afraid of a little perceived rain?

BEST RIP OF JP: From David after one play: "JP, you gonna be on the new Queens of Comedy?"

BALL HAWKS: Eric led the way with four, with three coming on back-to-back-to-back passes. JJJ had one (he also caught a pass as a defender on a 2-point conversion and tried to claim it was an interception. Nice try!). JP also played great on defense, with two picks, including one run back for a score. He also deflected a pass that Eric picked off.

FINANCIAL NEWS: JP finally paid up.